Jesus and Divorce

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A Few Supplemental Thoughts...

During this message on divorce I noted that there is more that needs to be said on this topic.  In the message I noted that my personal belief regarding divorce is that there are four Scriptural grounds for divorce.  It is possible I’m wrong here, and I want to make clear that good Bible believing Christians can disagree on this question.  Some see adultery as the only biblical grounds for divorce based on Matthew 5 and 19.  I can respect that position.  However, there are also other relevant passages on divorce, namely Deuteronomy 24 (which Matthew 5 and 19 are referring to), Exodus 21 and 1 Corinthians 7.  From the principles we find in these passages I believe we can glean that the “legitimate” biblical grounds for divorce are these:

1. Adultery
2. Abandonment
3. Extreme Neglect
4. Habitual Abuse

However, even with these biblical grounds, God’s ultimate perfect will is never divorce.  God says in Malachi, “I hate divorce.”  Divorce is always destructive and should only be considered as an absolute last resort.  So for two Christians who are considering divorce for one of these “legitimate” reasons, I would always first appeal to the Christians call to forgiveness, and to reconciliation.  But where that has completely broken down, there is freedom to remarry, certainly for the victim, but even also eventually for the offending party in the breakup.  First there needs to be true repentance.  But there is hope for forgiveness - this is not the unforgiveable sin.

But what if you divorced in the past, but not for one of these legitimate reasons and have now remarried?  My counsel to you is this.  First, don’t gloss over what happened.  Don’t try to rationalize the breakup.  Don’t try make it fit one of the four grounds for divorce.  For example, don’t try to reflect back on some heated arguments and call that abuse and so make it “fit” one of the grounds for divorce.  Rather confess and acknowledge that your previous divorce was a sin.  Own the sin.  Confess the sin.  And then receive the forgiveness promised in 1 John 1:9.  There is forgiveness for the sin of divorce.  It is not the unforgivable sin.  But then commit your current marriage to the Lord.  And resolve with your spouse that, leaving behind the past, you commit to move forward together forever – come what may.  And if you have children, when they reach an appropriate age, I would recommend that you acknowledge to them that your past divorce was sin.  Help them to know that though there is forgiveness, what you did was not God’s will.  Doing so can help to break the cycle of divorce and broken marriages in the future.

If you have further questions about this very difficult topic, or if you would like to receive some prayer around this, please don’t hesitate to reach out.  I would love to meet with you. Pastor Peter (253)-514-7978